Three Manly Things

Three Manly Things:

1. Punching a grizzly bear. I did it once and got fined by the Department of Natural Resources but I kept my lunch and my face from being eaten.

2. Crushing a can on your head. "I think I cut my forehead and my vision's blurry, but I looked cool."

3. Fire. I don't believe I need to elaborate.

Three Manly Things

Three Manly Things:

1. Seeing white smoke come out from under your car hood and fixing it. Huah!

2. Putting bacon on your sandwich. Actually putting bacon on anything that already has meat. Steak, chicken, sausage, it doesn't matter. You can't mix your liquors, but you can mix your meat.

3. Having grease on your hands. Automatically makes you look 20pts. tougher.

Three Manly Things

Three Manly Things:

1. Killing Something. Anything, be it an invading alien army, a dinosaur that a mad scientist brought back to life, a weed in your sidewalk, or a grunt in HALO, it doesn't matter. It garners respect from your enemies.

2. Watching TV in your underwear. Women would do this, but then men wouldn't be watching the TV, and then manly thing #2 would just be "in your underwear." Women don't watch TV in their underwear so that manly thing #2 can be "Watching TV in your underwear." Thank you ladies, now we can be manly.

3. Carrying heavy stuff. It helps with manly things #1 and #2.

Three Manly Things

I will continue to write three beautiful things on my blog, but to balance it out, I will also include three manly things.

Three manly things:

1. Pipe tobacco. Not just any tobacco, but tobacco you harvested yourself from the farmlands of Central America.

2. Having your own mating call. Powerful and mighty, it can split the clouds and separate the hydrogen from the oxygen in your drinking water.

3. Having a hot wife. (See #2) I love you Gina.

The next installment is coming soon!